The scale says ‘hey good job you lost weight!’
My pants, however, say ‘you’re still fat!’
It’s a yoga pants kind of day.
Fuck that. Fuck that right now. I’m going to tell the generation of so called men something right this second. It’s an amazing mystery of the universe. It’s how to never get friendzoned.
This is how you do it.
You come to the terms that the friendzone doesn’t exist and that the most important thing in the universe is not your dick.
My dad getting real defensive when some guy told him I friendzoned them (via youdtearthiscanvasskinapart)
MY MOM SAID IF THIS GETS 500,000 NOTES SHE WILL FINALLY CALL ME “KHYLE” AND REFER TO ME AS HER SON PLEASE THIS IS A HUGE STEP FOR ME AND HER
we’re gonna get you your 500k notes. I swear. Idgaf if i have to reblog this 4000000x myself.
^thats the fucking spirit!!!!!
I reblog this every time I see it
Get IT DONE
So close guys. Please keep going
why do people look so shocked when food falls into your cleavage but you eat it anyway like “oh no this grape has been spoiled by my bosom better throw it away” fuck no i’m gonna eat that boobie grape
A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.